Reflections by Ayushi Jain
Confidence: How to deal with “I’m Not Good Enough”
Studies show that the self-help book market is worth about $10 billion in the United States.
What this means is that millions of people are probing shelves for self-help books that they think will magically alter their lives by making them more successful, more attractive, or more confident. Writers are using this to their advantage by publishing volumes upon volumes of self-help books every year. Before I start this post, I would like to say that this is NOT one of those entries; by no means am I telling you that these are five things you must do to be confident, or are the only five things you can do. I am writing about methods that have already worked for me or things that I should still look at improving about myself to gain confidence (me being an impressionable old woman who is fascinated by social media and probably has a bit more of a problem with it than others!). If I can inspire you, that is fantastic, but these five tips are definitely not the end-all-be-all of how to be confident. In fact, there is no easy way to fix low confidence. There’s no pill, no cough syrup, that can make you suddenly wake up one day without fears of letting yourself down. That fear will be with all of us all the time. This post only serves as a little reminder– a tiny bit of help– to keep you on the path towards loving yourself and believing in your true potential. These may or may not be effective. It’s all up to who you are or if you’re willing to implement them. That being said, let’s begin. (:
Find some things you love to do
Doing something you love will pretty much ensure your success at it, and though some people consider success as superficial to your self-confidence. It’s actually a good way to develop self-esteem. The medals and ribbons I’ve won in speech have been influential to how I’ve developed my confidence; they symbolize that I am capable of working hard enough to harvest the outcome I desire. Finding activities that make you feel this way are the first step in feeling secure about yourself.
The “In one ear and out the other” principle.
If you took everything you heard seriously, you would be too impressionable to be your own person. This is a problem I often have. In wanting to become the best version of myself, I often forget that I need to still be a version of myself! Receive things people say about you, no matter how rude or humiliating, and then pass them out right through you once more. Don’t let their words strike a nerve and have an impact on your self-confidence. Cross “I’m not good enough” off of your vocabulary list so that if someone else tells you it, you won’t even recognize it as a threat to you, and better yet, won’t think that about yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to others– don’t Facebook-stalk!
I know you do it. A lot of people do! But studies show that scrolling through other people’s Facebook profiles increases depression because their profiles paint a happy and perfect life that you wish you had. However, Facebook profiles are only half of anyone’s story. Remind yourself that the lives of the people on the other side aren’t nearly as glamorous as their profiles tend to show. If this is a persistent problem for you, delete your Facebook altogether. It’ll be a hard step to take, but will be worth it. This same principle can be applied outside of Facebook to the gossip circles in your life in general. Nobody is perfect no matter how much they appear to be. Save yourself some distress and realize this, and you’ll appreciate yourself for the unique strengths you have– without the influence of other people’s fake portrayals of themselves.
Surround yourself with good people
It’s hard to believe in yourself when you’re surrounded by people who seem like they don’t. It’s not YOU who is the problem, it is them. Like I said in my previous post, you don’t need to feel obligated to stick with people who don’t know how to be good friends with you or people who don’t respect you. Getting rid of negative people and making new, positive friends will ensure a comfortable environment for you to flourish and love yourself. (:
Eat well, sleep well, and get exercise
I’m a little hypocritical about this point– I’ve been sleep-deprived throughout my entire high school career and haven’t been in a sport for the last two years– but it’s common sense that feeling good about yourself mentally comes from feeling good about yourself physically. So, take care of your body and try to make an effort to get back to running, sleep in when you get the chance, and reach for that apple instead of the bag of Doritos.